He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He called his prostate his "boner button".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
