You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
