I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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