gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
