The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
do herpes really smell.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
