I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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