went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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