Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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