I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize