I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he was CRYING into my vagina
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
