My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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