I'm lost and stupid without you.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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