I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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