so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize