Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
