How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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