we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
