I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
