i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
