my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
