If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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