My sheets look like a crime scene.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
