It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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