At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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