ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
