I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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