Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
