Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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