she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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