It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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