Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
