he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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