she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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