i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
