Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
