I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
