And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
