so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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