there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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