but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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