just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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