how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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