why didn't you poke me back
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
