Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
