Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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