We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
