I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
this boner is exhausting
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
