Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
