Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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