I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
