Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
