I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
