I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I want her autograph on my taint
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
