I am puke
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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