Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think my moral compass just broke
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
