You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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