My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
