I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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