tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
