I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
