I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
