I got chris browned last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
