He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
