But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
