after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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